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Friday, June 13, 2008 – Ever alert for ways to improve our service, we have taken the advice of a friend and modified our procedures slightly. Our downloadable pdf files should henceforth be somewhat less of a strain on our visitors’ personal intertubes. Herewith, our Volume 252, No. 19, dated June 13, 2008. It takes up just 3.4 MB, 41 percent less than excruciatingly high-resolution version we sent to our printer. In this issue we look into what’s behind the alarming rise in oil prices. Along the way we manage to drag in genealogy, The Rapture, and Alexander VI, our favorite Pope. To put some …

Read moreSemi-New, Possibly Improved

Friday, June 13, 2008 –Yes, it even frightens us, to see the online end of this operation begin to function in a predictable, coordinated manner. And we say this, even without having completed a few devious renovations which we plan to spring on an unsuspecting world as early as next week! In this, our May 30 issue, we take note of the now-quaint price of gas – just $3.97 a gallon. How innocent we were then! We also take issue with the work product of George W. “Chickenhawk” Bush’s Memorial Day speech writer, and supply the missing phrases for his address to the Knesset. The …

Read moreFrightening!

Friday, May 30, 2008 – In this issue (May 16, 2008), the Democratic nomination process reminds the editor of a story he was told years ago by an old swamp yankee; Nelson Mandela and Luis Clemente Faustino Posada Carriles are compared and contrasted; some little-known facts about Republican primary candidate for the First District, John Stephen are weighed; we take a look at GOP State Chair Fergus Cullen’s sense of humor; an update is included on the recent Congressional hearings about the 2002 GOP phone-jamming scandal; a press release for a New Hampshire time-share resort is deconstructed, and we consider the curb appeal of the …

Read moreOur Semi-Latest Paper

Friday, May 16, 2008 – Here it is, like clockwork. Assuming the clock in question only ticks once every 336 hours, give or take a few. “Whatever you do will be insignificant,” Gandhi said, “but it is very important that you do it.” To whatever extent it may be important, we’ve just injected another 44,000 pages of information and attitude into the infosphere, where it may be picked up, for free, by whoever happens to see it, at one of our 160 or so distribution points. In this issue, we reveal the Democrats’ secret weapon for blowing the next election, we kick around John McCain’s …

Read moreLike Clockwork

Friday, May 2, 2008 – We have done it again. Huzzah, if we do say so ourselves. Thousands of copies of yet another issue of the Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ have been distributed in Portsmouth and the surrounding towns of the Piscataqua. Hundreds more are at the Post Office, on their way (via First Class Mail!) to our subscribers in nearly every state and the District of Columbia. As for the rest of the world, we’re making a free pdf file of our previous issue (April 18) available today. Click on this link, or the image above.

Friday, April 18, 2008 – As is our current practice, now that our April 18 issue is on the streets and in the mail (First Class, no less!) we’re posting the previous fortnight’s paper (Vol. 252, No. 14, dated April 4) here, for the instant gratification of all you freeloading, silicon-based life-forms out there. Our subscribers, of course, will receive the genuine wood-pulp-based version of today’s paper in their mailboxes in just a day or two. If your dignity requires similarly privileged treatment, you may subscribe here. The issue we offer here for free, in pdf form, includes a Fortnightly Rant headlined “Peace Through Violence.” …

Read morePeace Through Violence